Posted by: jinoe | February 13, 2008

Ten Years – A Valentine Blog

Quennie and I have been in this relationship for 10 years.  I am not sure if she would agree if I say that some things have changed.  But definitely, we know we are still very much in love with each other.  That is why we decided to tie the knot next year.

While I have met other couples who had long relationship such as ours, many would still be surprised and be awed by how long we have been together.  A lot of questions and comments would come up.  Too often, the questions and comments are the same.

But here are some questions and comments that really strikes me.  I just dont know how to answer them properly.  But let me try to give my point.  Again, I am not sure if Quennie would agree with me.  So help me God.

Question #1:  Isn’t it boring to be with the same girlfriend for ten years?

It’s both a yes and a no.  Quennie still looks very much the same and still have those annoying attitudes.  She’s boring. 😛  She still have the same long and black hair.  She doesnt cut them too short or get them colored.  She wears almost the same cut of shirt or blouse.  I can definitely spot her easily in a crowd.  She has that distinctive glide whenever she walks towards me that makes me go grrrar…  Our conversations have evolved from the sweet nothings in college to the straight and forward discussions like adults do.  Our jokes have become predictable.  So… she’s the same Quennie I fell in love with ten years ago.  Its boring.

But I guess both of us understood that the boredom we experience is a challenge to make the relationship more interesting.  This is where the boredom ends.  We find new ways to amuse each other.  We find new activities where we can be together, like jogging and collecting table napkins.  At least once a year, we go with friends to new places we have never been to.  We go separate ways to meet other interesting people and talk about them.

It’s interesting to note that the more go on separate ways to discover the world around us, the more we get to have renewed interest in each other when we meet again at the end of the day.

So the boredom has turned into an instrument to make our relationship interesting everyday.

Question #2:  Have I got interested in other women?

For the record, I have met a lot of women and I find them interesting.  A better question will be:  Have I pursued other women?  Well, none that she is aware of.  Malinis ako magtrabaho.  Hahaha.  Peace.

I am a man so I am naturally attracted to all attractive women.  But what makes me stop just at that level of attraction also eludes me.  Most of the time, ehem, I dont make any advancements even when oppurtunity strikes.  This means I will end up a “takosa” someday.

But when I watched the film L’Amour l’après by Eric Rohmer I found an explaination through one of the narrations of the leading man.  In the film, Frederic struggles with the possibility of having an affair and remaining faithful to his wife.  Everyday, he got a chance to stare at other women he would see at the cafe, bus, train, or streets.  He would flirt by throwing glances and flashing a smile.  But at the end of the day, he ends up still in love with his wife.  The film was in French and I just liked the roughly made subtitles that went with it.

“These passing beauties are simply an extension of my wife’s beauty.  They enrich her beauty, and share it in return.  She insures the world’s beauty and vice versa.  When I hold Helene in my arms, I hold all women.”

I would say that I share the same view.  In a way, he is trying to imply that all women are the same, so why bother find another one.  Once you have loved a woman, you have loved all women.

Whenever I meet someone, I would often ask myself, what does she have that Quennie can’t offer.  She may have longer legs or larger… ehem…  She may have a more profuond line of thought or a more playful attitude.  But they can’t transform me the way Quennie transformed me from a rugged, boisterious and barbaric man to a refined, articulate, and exquisite gentleman.  Again, Quennie may not strongly agree to those last adjectives.

After having several crushes and countless inspirations, only Quennie was able to bring out the best in me.  She was there with me during the best and worst point in my life.  I wont trade anything for that.  She completes me… blah blah blah… *puke*

Question #3:  What is the secret to a long relationship?

I know I should be able to answer this question.  But sad to say I don’t know the answer. 

But definitely it’s NOT those compatibility charts and tests.  The zodiac signs doesnt have a single thing to do with it.  I’m a Libra and she’s a Virgo.  They say they don’t perfectly match.  If we have listened to those compatibility tests and charts, then we could have ended it right away at day one.  Quennie and I both agree with this.  Finally, something in common.

But here’s one thing I’ve read that I want to share.  Whenever, the relationship starts to get dull and dry, I follow this rule:  Break the rules.  Even if there is a “Rules to a Successful Relationship”, break it as well.  It allowed us to discover something new everyday and never got tired of each other.  Only when she starts scolding me again and again for not folding the excess part of my pants do I get tired of her.  But other than that, we’re cool.

So spread the love everyone.  Happy Valentine’s Day.



  1. Awwww…. that’s sweet. I guess the secret to a successful long term relationship remains to be a secret. There really is no exact formula that will ensure that relationships will last. I guess the secret lies in the way both parties relate with each other. And that is something no book nor advise could ever decode.

  2. palakpak…. (=

  3. dpat na nga kayo mgpakasal…heheh!

  4. Kilig kilig… kakainis kinilig ako hehehehehe

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